Beautifully perfect

Oh how beautiful you are to me..
And oh so perfect you can be..
A tug on my heartstrings I felt..
The mind decided to go for a spin..
All I could see was how special you are to me..
All I could think was how amazing you are to me..

My interests perked..
My curiosity was there..
My inquisitiveness grew..

I loved your spirit..
I loved your ambitions..
I loved the way you took on everything in life…
And came out victorious..

An angel, you seemed to me..
Delicate and pure..
Joyful and happy..
I can only wish that we were meant to be..
Or that you’d be somewhere near me…

All I have now are the words..
The words that you gave to me..
To keep me going..
To keep me dreaming..
To keep me inspired..
To strive to become the better man..
That I really am.

Up and down within a minute

They say life is like a rollercoaster ..
the long wait to reach the summit..
all that anticipation building within..
it seemed endless..

A moment’s breath at the top..
the euphoria that we feel..
within a matter of seconds..
a sharp drop towards the ground..
momentum gains as time goes by..
faster and faster we go..
one wonders if we will crash and burn..
and then it starts all over again..
slowly up we climb..

They say life is like a sea of waves..
sometimes steady..sometimes a little bumpy..
other times just plain rocky..
we attempt to guide our sailboat across..
we stumble.. we get thrown over..

sometimes we feel powerless..
but once the waves calm down..
once the sun begins to shine..
we can see where we’re going once again..
we can guide our ship to where we want to go..
and maybe next time..
when the uncertainty comes, we’ll be prepared..

Life begins now

It’s been a while since I last made a post. Tons of things have been going on.. I got through my first week of work. I must say that I am loving my job as a web developer. Building websites has always been a thing of mine. Work environment is also excellent but I will say no more.

Looking to spread my wings by establishing my first piece of property.. currently looking around the downtown core. The whole process has been a great learning experience about what to look for in housing. It used to be that I would look at how nice a place is but this time around, I look for potential. Potential to rent. Potential to renovate. Potential to sell.. the key points that will help me increase my equity. And I must say that I thoroughly enjoy it. Despite it being long and frustrating, it’s also very rewarding. I’m just praying that something will come out of this soon.

I’m also starting to think about the future. Well not that I haven’t but I have been planning it out in more detail - starting to think beyond 5 yrs. They always say that if you don’t have a plan, then you’re planning to fail and I certainly don’t wanna be failing. While the economy is on the rebound, many people are still unable to secure employment and it is pretty scary. With student loans hanging on me, I can’t afford to slow down so I am desperately budgeting the quickest way to pay it all off without doing too much damage to my lifestyle. Sad to say that the BMW will be put on hold for the time being. Real estate is the main priority at the moment. It’s one of the rare assets that has the potential to increase quite dramatically. If I play my cards right, hopefully my goal of being able to retire early will be achievable.

Yes, I’d like to retire by say 30 or 40. My strategy would be to acquire enough property and equity such that I will be able to live off of rental income. Having said that, it’s also a goal to be a millionaire. Now you may think it’s rather selfish and lazy and I’d just like to become rich. Well, yes, I do want to become rich but not because I’m greedy. I’d like to be able to show people how they can change their lives and their financial situation no matter what their circumstances are. I want to educate people. Couple of days ago, I saw a documentary about an amazingly kind lady who bought foreclosed houses and gave them back to the original owners and allowed them to pay on their own terms. I want to be that sort of person. A philantropist is what I’d like to be. An inspiration. A lifelong supporter. I want to change lives and to encourage people so that they can be happy and inspire others as well. Our society is in dire need of it.

Reading back on what I told someone about my dreams, I feel that I may have lost touch of it. I was telling her about how I want to make a difference in society but I haven’t been doing that lately. Hopefully, I’ll get my opportunity soon enough once I have more time. Commuting to work from home is a tough thing to do and I am not sure I can hold out any longer!

Back from vacation

It’s been a long long while since I last updated this blog. Mainly due to the fact that I did not have internet access in Malaysia. Because of that, I realized the huge importance of mobile phones. I strongly believe that they are an untapped market at this point. As more and more mobile phones become web capable, I believe that we will see web applications being built for mobile phones. I attended a job fair a while back where it was focused towards advertising and during the talk, they highlighted the potential of mobile technology and why it is the next big thing. The surge of netbook sales has already sparked web applications to become the main target. But unlike netbooks, mobile phones have a much smaller screen and smaller capacity. I wonder how many of these web apps can be used on mobile phones.

I had an amazing vacation - stayed at my grandparents’ place in Malaysia for a good 3 weeks though I did hop over to Singapore and Pulau Redang for a couple of days. It seemed like a dream. A fantasy. When I was there, it felt like I had never left. Now that I am back, it feels like I never went there. But I learnt a lot of things this time around. And I feel more appreciative of my life here. I could never go back to the life I had there and now I am even more certain about it. I totally enjoyed the sun for the first time. And I enjoyed the sweating for the first couple of weeks. I’ll have to wait another couple of years before I get back there. And I will be back. I didn’t get enough of that beach action!!

Travel blog

As I’m going to be living and busily rediscovering and rekindling friendships in Asia, I thought I’d start a travel blog. Feel free to drop by and post comments if you will. Cheers!

Positive Power

I don’t know how many of you ever followed my notes but a couple of months ago, I was talking about being positive amidst this catastrophic crisis that has befallen upon us. I was saying that no matter how dire the economy is, there is hope and that we, new graduates of 2009, need to take up the challenge to beat it. I can safely say through personal experience that maintaining hope and staying positive amidst all the negativity is the best thing that you can do for yourself.

I have found a job. And no, it’s not just any other job. It’s a job that I really want and it’s a job that I had to work hard for. After 2 technical interviews, a couple of IQ puzzles tossed in, a plethora of questions that seeked to test my ability to program something in various languages, a discussion on how to avoid bringing the computer to a screeching halt, a black whiteboard marker and a cup of water, I nailed it. And I never knew the significance of the job.. I prepared but I had no idea that the opportunity warranted the need for such intensive screening. Though not typically visible to mainstream consumers, the growth potential is enormous and represents one of the top 10 most valuable start up companies. Needless to same that I am pleased.

Having been see-sawing through the prospect of moving back to the US and contributing to Canada’s brain drain, I finally decided where to start my professional life. It’s an exciting time and it’s going to be an exciting next couple of months as I look to finally purchasing my first car and quite possibly my first piece of real estate.

All throughout the period, it was tough. Up to this point, I’m technically still awaiting my interview with Microsoft. My free trip to Seattle never came. I could’ve flew back to San Jose. But it was all uncertain and there’s nothing I feel uncomfortable the most than uncertainty. I knew I wanted to get a job before I graduated. I knew I wanted to get a job before I went for my vacation. The thought of not being to finalize anything was unsettling. I always looked in awe at people who secured jobs before graduation. I wanted to be like them. And now I have.. on my birthday. On the very last week before I leave. I have made it. The positive thinking and believing paid off. It wasn’t easy. There were times where I felt down. I thought I’d just let it go and say I’ll get a part time job when I get back and wait for the next recruitment cycle to come. But somehow, I just didn’t have it in me. I started off so strongly..fueled by determination, I managed to secure multiple interviews.. even some job offers. But they weren’t what I wanted. I turned them down. Then the past few weeks, I looked back and thought if I had made a mistake. If I had been too ambitious or too greedy in this dreadful economy. People were losing jobs and yet I had the nerve to turn them down? What were you thinking Mr Teren?! But somehow.. maybe it was my parents’ prayers.. maybe it was through reading those positive guidances in books.. Buddhist teachings…spiritual guidance..self motivation books..inspirational quotes..encouraging passages… that got me through this. The words of encouragement that were in print.. the support of my friends … it all just kept me going. I’m pleased to say that I feel victorious. The feeling is none other. Having been through much, I definitely appreciate this achievement so much more than just getting a job. It’s made the faith in myself and my abilities grow stronger. Now I’m trying to learn how I can inspire others to achieve their dreams - courtesy of the late Randy Pausch. Thanks to my friends for all the support in believing me. Thanks to my heart for pointing me in the right direction when my brain wanted to go the other way. I’ll never doubt you again.

Dare to dream

If there’s one thing I have to mention about achieving your dreams, it’s dare to dream. Don’t be afraid of dreaming of something big. It may be becoming a millionaire, it may be travelling around the world, it may be helping to build schools, being an artist, a chef.. whatever your fancy is. Dream it! That’s the first step of achieving it. Now you might be thinking what makes me an expert to comment on such a subjective topic. All I say is read if you must, criticize if you will but this is merely my opinion on how, in my 24 yrs of existence, I achieved things I never thought possible. Of course, I am still young and there’s much more to be learned. But here’s what life has taught me thus far…

I have been trying to figure out success. Over the years, I spend time thinking about what makes someone a champion.. these thoughts were fueled by my interest in sports. Tiger Woods, from a very young age, has already won quite a few tournaments. Michael Schumacher seems to win the championship every year. Roger Federer is completely blowing away his competition. And then I read about visualizing yourself succeeding. It seemed far fetched but it does make some sense. Tiger Woods no doubt has great skills but he doesn’t win every single time. So you can’t say that his skills are far superior than everyone else. He is consistent. His ability to reproduce solid shots time and time again is down to his mind. And it pretty much goes the same for all these champions. They see themselves winning.. they see themselves being the best.

Personally, I can say that I have seen success through this whole visualizing thing. The one that speaks volumes is when I finally made it on the high school soccer team. Having played ever since my childhood days, I always dreamt of being on a team and I always told myself that I am good enough but never had the chance. And it was in someways true. I moved around a lot. But I was also disgustingly unfit and disappointingly overweight. While trying out for the high school soccer team in my final year, not knowing any body on the team, I visualized myself getting selected during tryouts. And so after 10 years, I finally made it into a team. Albeit for only a year, it felt great to be part of a league.. part of a team.. where I was actually selected and not because I volunteered to go for it. Building on that, I made the intramural team at school as well.. but the rigours of school and commuting eventually took its toll and I had no more time to practise. Stubbed my toes, broke my toenails, did some damage to my ankle ligaments as well. But wouldn’t have wanted it any differently.

Me is a net addict

Today I found out just how addicted I am to the Internet. I was at school, trying to study.. the connection was flaky. Sometimes it could connect, sometimes it couldn’t. When it could, it was slow but I could live with that. When it couldn’t, I was agitated. I constantly checked to see if its connected. I could not concentrate on reading my notes. I tried a whole bunch of things that didn’t seem to work.. I switched from Mac OS X to Windows and that didn’t help. I think I’m the one that needs help. I’m addicted to the Internet. I cannot imagine what my life will be like when I can’t check my email on a daily basis. It’ll be like taking away the sheep from Lil Bo Peep.. Superman without his super powers.. Batman without Robin… A turtle without its shell.. There would be no story…

The math is straightforward:

Teren + Internet = Happy Teren

but you know what? don’t try and kick me out of the habit.. I don’t need an intervention.. I just need the Internet..

Home outside of my home

I’ll be returning to the place where I was born in a couple of weeks… the place where I grew up .. the place where my teenage innocence was tested time and again by snooker tables, illegal gambling, and truancy. It’s a strange feeling. I haven’t been back for 5 years I reckon. I will become a tourist now. Readjusting to the local accents will be interesting.. I’ll probably mish mash everything up, sound half an idiot and be the butt of the joke. My relatives have grown much. Some will not know me. Some will not remember me. Some will not recognize me. That’s the part I enjoy the most. Discovering new nieces and nephews… rekindling old memories with the elders… catching up on what’s been going on for the past 5 years and how I matured into who I am today. Though I’ll still be a kid at heart.. and I’ll always be a kid in their minds. That’s just the way it works.

Food is the essential part of the journey back to my birthplace. Without food, it’s one less reason to go back. Armed with my camera, I hope to relive the culinary delights of South East Asia and capture a snapshot of the beauty of it all. I dread to think of the non-existent public transportation. I believe my mobility will be limited by how many friends I can convert into volunteer chauffeurs. My Asian adventure will take me through Malaysia, Singapore and Hong Kong. I call it an adventure because it makes me more excited about it. It’s an adventure because I will be travelling as a tourist. I’m interested in the spots that tourists would go. And I want to take pictures. I even intend to start a photoblog about it. How touristy of me!

The main reason for this trip though is for my grandparents. They’ve been waiting endlessly for the past years. We hadn’t the chance to send them any photos. They are nowhere near computer literate. They live alone and that makes it all that much harder. When interviewing at Microsoft, I expressed my hopes and dreams that one day, computers will be simple enough so my grandma could use it with several clicks of a button. I haven’t had that chance to personally make that dream come true but I am sure technology is converging towards that in someway. I don’t know what I will say to my grandparents. The communication between us is typically one way. I understand them but I don’t converse in their language fluently. I don’t know how I will explain to them that I think Canada is where I’d like to be. They are simple people. They never wanted more and were always content. My grandpa did not understand why I had to get a world class education in Toronto. Seemed to have rubbed off on my dad abit. He’s content for the most part too. But I inherited my mom’s drive. My limitless drive. But that’s another story altogether and would be better left for another post. I just don’t know how I will tell them that I want to stay in Canada for good. I do hope one day my grandma will be able to see what a beautiful place this is. Hoping that one day, she can come live with my parents and we can all pitch in to take care of her. Canada is my home now. It is where my heart truly is and where I am happiest.

Beauty of Sport

I’m a sports lover. I somehow make it a point to know who are the big names of most sports. And I do attempt to find out the rules and regulations as well. Although I love soccer and hockey the most, I’m familiar with tennis, badminton, rugby, American football, golf, auto racing, etc. What drives this passion for sports? I’m not sure. I’m just fascinated by sport itself.

When people think of sports, people think of physical activity. Growing up in an Asian family in an Asian society hasn’t really help me feed on my passion for sports. What does Asian have to do with sports, you say? Well you see, in Asian society, more focus is put towards academic education. My parents would spend thousands of dollars on private tutoring beyond school if it meant I would do well. Now, while I do appreciate my parents’ best efforts in supporting my sporting needs (they claim they supported me! ), I think there’s still a distinct imbalance.

To them, sport is just a game. It’s a physical activity. It’s something that you’d play for fun when you’re not studying. Not sure how many of you know this but I once harboured dreams of playing professional soccer. I spent hours and hours training but never made it due to the lack of development opportunities where I grew up. I thought about moving elsewhere to get a better footballing education but the financial burden would be too drastic. My parents said they would fund it but still I have a sense that they never really wanted to see me having a sporting career. Much preferred would be a more “real world” career like lawyer or software engineer or something. I look back and yes, they did support me financially but morally they did not. They’ve never seen me in action. They don’t know how many times I can juggle the ball. They didn’t cheer me on. Not that there was anything to cheer on due to the lack of a proper league. It was tough to constantly support myself. To tell myself that I can be a better player.

And there lies the beauty of sport. Sports, in particular soccer, has given me so much. It’s taught me how to work with people I’ve never met with, attempt to form an understanding and strive for a common goal. It’s taught me perseverance and tested my determination in trying to be a better player. It’s taught me how to think tactically about how strategies can work. It’s taught me that the most important thing in life is that if you never give up, you work hard and you will score. I never gave up on wanting to play on a team.. I never got a chance to be on a team in Malaysia but I worked ever so hard to get on the high school team in my only year of high school in Canada. Thank you to whoever came up with the idea for soccer. It’s changed me.

P.S. I do love my parents and I truly appreciate all that they have done to me. But I just think they could have been more open minded about how sports can be so educational to kids.